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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?